


if it feels like paradise running through your veins

by curvxs



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Exes, Exes to Lovers, Fluff, Happy Ending, Kid fic sorta, Light Angst, M/M, Past Relationships, Sexual Content, artist!zayn, musician!harry, only a hint of gigi/zayn, zarry are god parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-23 15:36:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14335611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curvxs/pseuds/curvxs
Summary: --"“…and he knows,” Zayn’s the one to break the silence, “He knows I’m going to be Freddie’s godfather too, right?”“Yes, he knows.” Louis reassured him, “are you okay with that?”Am I okay? Zayn asks sarcastically in his head. Is he okay with the fact that he will have to see Harry for the rest of his life after years of silence between the two?""---Or, the one where zayn and harry are godfathers to Freddie and have to see each other after breaking up years ago.





	if it feels like paradise running through your veins

**Author's Note:**

  * For [estrella30](https://archiveofourown.org/users/estrella30/gifts).



> This is my first try at a fic exchange.
> 
> And it's been a year since I last wrote zarry so bare with me! Thank you for reading! 
> 
> Thank you so much to my friend, Kelly who beta read this. Thank you for staying with me well past midnight. 
> 
> To the best moderator-you're amazing for this and thank you for being so understanding.
> 
> And to estrella30-you had such wonderful prompts I had to mesh at least two of them. I hope I did you justice. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I know nothing about art dealing, simple google searches help me!

Zayn has googled ‘ _What is a godfather?’_ and  _‘What does a godfather do?’_ for the third time today. He scrolls past the first fifteen links he already explored since Louis asked him if Zayn would like to be Freddie’s godfather.

Zayn was outside his loft, smoking a cigarette, alone like always when Louis called him. He reminds Zayn about Freddie’s birthday and the party Louis and Eleanor are planning for him. The flight was booked months before, Louis knew, which was a reason why he called.

Their friendship was hanging by a thread when Louis made the decision to travel to Los Angeles with the band he managed in college. Zayn and Louis eventually began to grow apart. The time change was difficult and adding their work schedules made it nearly impossible to communicate. They kept in touch through constant text-messages and e-mails until all they would eventually send was a  _happy holidays_  message on Christmas. It wasn't until he bumped into Eleanor, Louis' girlfriend since high school, that their relationship ended months after his move. Louis never mentioned it to Zayn. It surprised them both that Louis never told him about the breakup. Zayn never reached out either. He didn’t know what to say to Louis. It felt as if Louis had made a new life for himself and Zayn thought he had no part in it anymore. That was until Louis called him in the middle of the night talking so fast and shaky Zayn thought he was having a stroke.

 _“Pregnant…what to do…young…stupid…”_ It was all Zayn could catch after his first attempt to calm him down. It took Zayn nearly half an hour to get Louis breathing back to normal and finally explain what had Louis sounding like this.

Louis tells Zayn how much of a mess he was without Eleanor. Distance is what broke them up, Zayn learns, and after that Louis went through a wild phase. He met Briana at a club with mutual friends.  _It was just for fun,_ Louis said over the phone. They both had come off a long-term relationship and weren’t looking for anything serious. Louis called Zayn only an hour after Briana found out she was pregnant. Briana planned a doctor’s appointment next, which Louis planned to go, to confirm the pregnancy. Zayn had only seen Louis like this once after his parents told him they were getting a divorce. He was lost and scared, Zayn knew.

_“Send me your address.” Zayn said as he looked up flights as early as tonight._

_“Wha-why?”_

_“Because you need me.”_

And when Zayn showed up on Louis’ doorstep after a 17-hour flight with only asmall it felt like they were back in their old dorm room. They stayed up all night like they did after a night of partying. Only this time they sat on Louis’ old couch, warm beer in their hands, and talked about what he and Briana decided on after confirming Briana’s pregnancy. Briana gave Louis the choice to be a part of their child’s life or walk away. She understood if this isn’t what Louis wanted, that it was her choice to keep their child.

_“I want him, Zayn.” Louis turned to Zayn, tears pooling at the corner of his eyes, “Or her, I want this baby.”_

Zayn stayed for a week then. Met Briana, and reconnected with Louis all over again and promised to be there for him and the baby always. Daily calls and messages were made after that. Zayn visited twice, when Briana hit the seven-month mark and when Freddie was born and now he’s back to celebrate Freddie’s second birthday. And to officially claim the role as Freddie’s godfather. Louis surprised him with the news after Briana and Louis discussed who would care for Freddie if something were to happen to both of them. Louis wanted him from the beginning but it was Briana who said Zayn should be Freddie’s godfather.

“Briana is pregnant with her second child,” Louis informs Zayn once they get to the restaurant, “It’s probably ‘happy brain’ so accept before she changes her mind.”

“Briana and I got along every time I visited,” Zayn defended, elbowing Louis, earning a small giggle from Freddie, “I was the one that held her hair when her morning sickness kicked in that week.”

“Don’t talk about that.” Eleanor gagged, taking Freddie from Zayn’s arms and cooed at the boy, “Their crazy, I tell you.”

“I just got here and you’re trying to take my godson away from me.” Zayn pouted, kissing Eleanor on the cheek, “Missed you.”

“Oh hush,” Eleanor laughed and turned to peck Louis on the lips, “How was the traffic at the airport?”

Zayn and Louis both groaned. Freddie imitated them as he stuffed his face with some mushy food Louis and El brought from home. Louis and Zayn fought their entire way here on why Eleanor and Louis continue to live here even after reconciling. Zayn remembered the phone call he made to Eleanor to tell her about the pregnancy. She reacted almost the same as Zayn but considering she was also heartbroken it took time before Louis and Eleanor could come to terms with such a life-changing moment in his life. Once Freddie was a year old, Louis got a chance to bring Freddie to meet his side of the family. Days later, he met up with Eleanor and laid everything out on the table. They've been together ever since and Eleanor made the official move about half a year ago to Los Angeles to be with Louis and Freddie. 

“When are you guys going to move?” Zayn complained, taking a long swig of his beer.

“One, Freddie’s life is here,” Louis says, a little distracted as he wipes at Freddie’s face once the food had moved past his mouth to his cheeks and forehead, “Two, it’s not that bad if you actually come out of that hole you call home.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Zayn defends, taking a bite out of his food.

“Aside from Gigi and us,” He gestured to El and Freddie, “Who else still knows you’re alive?”

"You're so funny." Zayn tossed his napkin at Louis, reaching for it immediately. 

"How is she by the way?" Eleanor asked. Gigi and Eleanor got close over the years

After three years, Gigi and Zayn ended their relationship. They still remain friends, Zayn had assured them. 

“No,” El muttered, “I really liked her.”

“Thanks, El,” Zayn fake smiled at El and continued, “we decided to just stay as friends, we’re better off that way.”

“Is she going to come for Freddie’s birthday?” Louis chimes in, “She sent us a confirmation.”

“Yeah we went out the night I left-wait,” Zayn sat up.

They turned to each other and back at Zayn questionably, “What?”

“Were you guys going to ask her to be Freddie’s godmother?” Zayn brooded.

Again, Lou and El both looked at each other but this time with an awkward look on their faces. Yes, Zayn and Gigi were serious but he never thought Gigi and Freddie were ever that close. Gigi only met Freddie the day he was born.

“I know we were serious but-“

“No, no, no” They both assured Zayn rather cautiously, “We actually wanted to talk to you about that.”

Freddie played with his spoon, thrashing it around in front of him, blubbering nonsense as his parents continue to stay quiet. Zayn didn’t understand why they were acting like this. She was the only person who Zayn thought would overlook him and choose an actual family member from either side. Briana has not only approved but was the first to choose Zayn as Freddie’s godfather.

“Briana and I both agreed Freddie should have a…” Louis looked at El for support. She was nodding for him to continue, “We thought it would be progressive of us to pick two godfathers instead of the whole traditional mom and dad thing.”

“So who’s the other godfather?” Zayn couldn’t think of-, “Wait…” and it clicks for Zayn why they were acting like this. Why Louis ignored his questions when he picked Zayn up from the airport. Why Louis wouldn’t answer any questions about the other godparent’s decision on how to raise Freddie after Zayn went on an ‘Expectations of a godparent” internet spiral. Why they picked Zayn’s favorite place even though Louis and El both hate it.

“Harry will be Freddie’s godfather as well.” Louis quietly affirmed Zayn’s initial thought.

Zayn and Harry will be Freddie’s godfathers.

“Fuck…and he knows,” Zayn’s the one to break the silence, “He knows I’m going to be Freddie’s godfather too, right?”

“Yes, he knows.” Louis reassured him, “are you okay with that?”

 _Am I okay?,_ Zayn asks sarcastically in his head. Is he okay with the fact that he will have to see Harry for the rest of his life after years of silence between the two?

“Zayn.” Eleanor called out to him, both of them watching Zayn. Even Freddie stared at Zayn, giggling and babbling nonsense again.

“I’m okay,” Zayn nodded and cleared his throat, “This is about Freddie, Harry and I will be good godparents to Freddie.”

Before they could further the conversation or question Zayn about anything he shot straight up and made his way to the car.

Zayn doesn’t hate Harry. He’s almost sure Harry doesn’t hate him...now. It’s been four years. How long can you stay mad at your then-boyfriend who got cold feet and abandoned all future plans with? Not long, Zayn thinks. Harry left anyway. He pursued his dreams without Zayn and he’s done great from what little Louis has told him.

Zayn would only ask minor details about him once he found out Harry was living with Louis for the summer. Something about a record deal being offered in California. After that Louis felt that if Zayn wanted to know about Harry he should reach out to him.

“He asks about you all the time.” Louis says all of a sudden as they drive back home.

Zayn was dozing off, the jetlag finally setting in, “What?”

“Harry,” Louis clarified only looking back to check on a snoozing Freddie who was sitting by Zayn, “Harry does ask about you, he must still care.”

“Then he should of answered my calls when I reached out” Zayn has the sudden urge to stretch, his thighs feeling antsy, “He shut me out, never let me apologize .”

“Then use this time to do just that,” El intervened, turned to Zayn, “Now stop arguing, you’re going to wake Freddie up.”

“Doubt it,” Louis said, “Freddie has slept through the entire Avengers movie.” Louis muttered, so disappointed in Freddie. It would have made Zayn laugh if he wasn’t so stressed out about the situation he was just handed by his best friends.

**

All Zayn could think about was Harry. He thought meeting up with Gigi for lunch could distract him for at least a decent hour. Apparently Eleanor and Gigi had grown close over the years and confided in her on how to tell Zayn about Harry also being Freddie’s godfather.

“Have you thought about what you were going to say?” Gigi asked as they walked around downtown.

“I don’t have the slightest idea where to start.” Zayn scratched at the back of his head, “I figured I’d led him make the first move.”

“You’re such a guy.” Gigi groaned, stopping in front of what Zayn could guess an art gallery, “let’s look inside.”

“What?” Zayn furrows his eyebrows and pokes fun at her, “three years of trying to get you into art and now you’re thinking of buying?”

“Maybe,” Gigi shrugged, obviously lying. They dated for three years, Zayn knows when she’s up to something, “Come on, this can help you relax, get inspired for your next collection.”

“Fine.” Zayn agreed quietly as he opened the door for her.

They didn’t get past the first piece before someone called out to Gigi from the other side of the room.

“Anthony!” Gigi excitedly greeted back with open arms.

“You’re finally home,” The guy—Anthony—said after he let go of Gigi, “It’s been ages.”

“Visiting for awhile, babe,” Gigi nudged at Zayn, “Zayn this is my friend Anthony, we grew up together.”

“Hi.” Zayn shook Anthony’s hand and immediately pushed his hands back into his pockets.

“The guy from London,” Anthony smiled at the both of them, “This is your boyfriend.”

“Just friends now,” Gigi corrected, “But yes, Zayn and I used to date and now we’re here to talk about his potential here in your warehouse.”

Fuck.

“No we’re not.” Zayn shook his head, pulling at Gigi’s arm gently towards the door.

“Has he showcased before?” Anthony asked as they neared the exit, “we have an exhibit coming up soon, up-and-coming artists displaying their pieces for first time collectors.”

“He has,” Gigi said, pulling away from Zayn and walking back to Anthony with her phone in her hand, “Here are some from last time.”

It was hard for Zayn to talk about his pieces. Gigi knew that which is why she took it upon herself to speak for him whenever he couldn’t.

His art was a piece of him, so for him to display it in public, even as small as the little New York art gallery near Zayn and Gigi’s apartment, made him feel so open and vulnerable. Zayn’s last art show was a small success. Not only did it take Zayn months to create his pieces, he had to learn how to talk up his art to gallery owners and collectors when asked about his work.

“Jesus, Gigi.” Zayn called out, mortified, “I’m sorry, mate, we didn’t mean to bother you.”

“Do you still have these pieces?” Anthony picked at Gigi’s phone, zooming in and out as he examined Zayn’s pieces, “Did you sell?”

“He sold a couple back in New York,” Gigi continued on as they both looked on, “This is my favorite he hasn’t sold.”

Gigi was so supportive of Zayn. He loved and hated that about her. He never admitted it but it was something that ultimately led to their breakup. She expected so much from him, Zayn felt like he would never be enough for her. Through months of convincing, Gigi finally persuaded Zayn to move to the States with her.

After they settled in New York Gigi constantly pushed Zayn to pursue his art.

_“You’re so good at this stuff.” Gigi said as she went through Zayn’s album filled with sketches and polaroids he had taken of his paintings from class._

_“Hmm.” Zayn kissed Gigi’s bare shoulder as she continued to look through dozens of drawings._

She showed up the studio he rented unannounced and saw that nothing had been made. Zayn was too tired to defend it and prepared himself for another mom lecture from her. All Gigi did was wrap her arms around Zayn’s middle and reminded him she believed in him. It took Zayn months before he felt proud of his work. In all honestly, Gigi may had been prouder.

“Stuff’s decent.” Anthony said nonchalantly, “Can you bring it in? I’d need it by the end of summer.”

“He sure can!” Gigi squealed, “my assistant is still in New York, she can send them in.”

Before Zayn could interject, Gigi was out the door making calls.

“I know she’s persistent,” Zayn looked down, self-conscious all of a sudden, “You don’t need to do this.”

“I mean,” Anthony waved around his warehouse, “These pieces are all new, bud, this is what I need.”

“I know-“

“Look man,” Anthony lifted up his hand as if “so what”, “the worst thing that can happen is your pieces don’t get sold, after that, you can do whatever you want.”

“All done.” Gigi pops back inside, kissing Anthony on the cheek, “We’ll see you later this month with his work.”

“Thanks.” Zayn waved and did an embarrassing half-bow at Anthony before walking out of the warehouse.

All Zayn expected this trip was to celebrate his now-godson, Freddie’s birthday. He thought maybe a night out with Louis and Eleanor here and there or lounging around Louis’ apartment, mooching off him like he always did when he spent time in the city before he headed back home to New York. Now he was going to see Harry again after all this time and now publicly showcase his work to strangers in a city that he felt so strange to be in. His ears were ringing. Zayn had felt uninspired these last couple of months for some unknown reason. He’d show up at his rented studio office only to take a nap, play games on his phone, or FaceTime Louis to get another glimpse of Freddie that day. Showing his art to strangers normally scared Zayn but this time it thrilled him. And it was all because of Gigi.

“Zayn this is so exciting, aren’t you-“ Zayn kissed Gigi against her front door, feeling her smile against his lips, “What was that for?”

“For believing in me even when I make it impossible not to.” Zayn admitted softly, his hands coming around her waist.

Gigi giggled and kissed Zayn back with a little more intensity, her arms wrapped around Zayn’s neck as she kicked open the door.

“We have my parent’s house for the night.” Gigi hinted, her hand going over his jeans and into his briefs.

They were both adults, Zayn defended internally as they moved past the kitchen and into the guest bedroom.

For old time’s sake.

**

Mixed emotions revolved around Louis, Eleanor and Zayn as they finished decorating for Freddie’s birthday party. Excitement for Freddie as he turns two years old. Anxiety since today is the day Zayn and Harry are seeing each other again since their break up. And now shock after Zayn tells them he spent the last two nights at Gigi’s place.

“So are you guys back together?” Eleanor asked for the both of them, Louis too focused on planting the birthday candle on top of the cake.

“No, no,” Zayn watched Louis in amusement, “It was a one time thing, we even spent the next day buying stuff for Freddie’s birthday party.”

“It didn’t bring back any feelings?” Louis asked as he placed the cake back into the refrigerator.

“Not really, no.” Zayn answered truthfully, “We both agreed we were better off as friends, it was all in good fun. She’s on her way actually and I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell her I told you guys.”

"He's talking to you, love." Louis smirked at Eleanor. She scoffed and brushed it off as she made her way to the front door. Guests started pulling up by the house.

Zayn expected a small group for a two year olds party, what he didn't expect was the whole block to show. Louis introduced him to work friends, neighbors, day care goers, other babies who cried at the sight of Zayn. 

His phone buzzes, a text from Gigi.

 **Almost there, shoot was running late,** Gigi’s text reads.

He watches Eleanor reach for the empty food tray, moves to take it from her.

“I’ll take care of this, you guys have enjoy yourselves.”

“You sure?”

“Yes,” Zayn gestured to Louis, “off you go.”

He filled up the tray and brought out the cake like Louis texted him to once he let him know he was in the kitchen. He looks out the window and sees someone park nearby. Zayn knows who that is before he gets out of the car. Harry steps out of the car and makes his way to the trunk. The back of Zayn’s neck is sweaty, his throat dry as Harry gets nearer. He watches Harry put the gift underneath his arm and carry it on his side as he pushes his sunglasses over his hair. Zayn’s heart aches at the memory of Harry. He looked so different. Still gorgeous but different.

Zayn felt bizarre watching Harry. He felt foreign to him. He’s changed so much since he last saw him. The last time Zayn saw Harry he was packing his bags, avoiding his gaze when Zayn told him he was no longer going with him to the States. If it wasn’t for the voicemail he was so used to hearing after months of attempting to reach out to him Zayn wouldn’t even be able to remember what his voice sounded like. His heart felt raw all of a sudden.

The doorbell goes off and Zayn's stood right in front of the door. All he had to do was reach for the knob and open the door for Harry. That's it. 

If only his brain could work for only a second.

"Lou," Zayn feels a sharp jolt run through his body when he hears Harry's voice from the outside, "Open the door, yeah?"

Moments pass in silence until Harry says, "Yeah, I'll go around the back." 

Zayn goes to the back of the house, watches Louis and Eleanor walk to Harry to give him a hug.

“You’re just in time, Zayn’s gone to get the cake so we can sing Happy Birthday for Freddie.” Eleanor cheered, walking towards Zayn.

Zayn watched Harry’s smile falter when he looked up and met Zayn’s eyes. It felt like he was hit with a ton of bricks once they acknowledged each other. Harry’s expression was unreadable as Zayn waved hello to Harry. Louis says something to Harry before he gestures to Zayn to come over.

“I think you’ve lads met before.” Louis smirked, “We’re getting the cake, get Freddie ready.”

“Hi.” Harry broke the silence, a genuine smile on his lips.

“Hey.” Zayn replied, his hands burning deep in his pockets.

“—we should” Zayn says as Harry says, “Freddie’s over—“

“This is weird.” Harry winced, chuckling.

"So fucking weird." Zayn agreed. 

"C'mere." Harry motioned for Zayn to come closer.

Zayn sighed in relief and laughed with Harry as they embraced.

“It’s been a while.” Zayn said, letting go of Harry.

“Yeah, how have you been? I hear you’re in New York.”

“Yeah moved after college,” Zayn nodded, “Are you here? Live here? Not with Louis but-“

“Yes, Zayn,” Harry interrupted Zayn’s frantic banter, smiling in amusement, “I live here.”

“Okay,” Zayn barely noticed he didn’t hadn’t stop nodding, “I’m gonna help them with the cake.”

“I’ll go get Freddie.”

“I think I should go.” Zayn proposed to Louis and Eleanor as they started to light up the candle.

“Nope.” Louis said casually.

“I don’t think I can-“

“You’re going to go out there, sing Happy Birthday to my son, your godson.”

“But-“

“Happy Birthday to you…” They start to sing as they walk back to the party, Freddie already seated. Zayn took a deep breath and followed suit along with everyone else. Harry pointed at the cake for Freddie to look at.  
“Cake!” Freddie screamed with joy as he reached for the cake.

They finished the song and Louis helped Freddie with the candle. Harry got a bit of frosting to dab on Freddie’s nose who found it absolutely hilarious.

“Alright, let’s cut the cake.” Louis announced, slicing the first piece for Freddie.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry.” Zayn hears Gigi behind him.

“Hey, you made it just in time for cake.” Zayn hugged Gigi and whispered, “Harry’s here, by Freddie.”

Gigi follows Zayn’s gaze and they both stare at Harry who’s staring right back at them.

“Jesus, he’s hot.” Gigi said after Eleanor gives them a piece of birthday cake.

“Really, Gigi?” Zayn sighed, taking a bite of her piece.

“Did you say hi?”

“Somewhat.” Zayn shrugged.

“Okay because he’s coming over.” Gigi wiped the frosting off her lips as she smiled behind Zayn.

“Mind if I join you guys?” Harry asked as he took a seat besides Zayn, “Freddie got fussy so they’re fixing him for bed already.”

“Gigi.” She smiled and brought her hand out to shake Harry’s, “Zayn’s told me a lot about you.”

Harry turned to Zayn and gave him a curious smile, “Has he?”

Zayn was so glad his mouth was stuffed with cake, it gave him a couple of seconds to come up with what to say. Still nothing.

“He tells me you’re in a band.” Gigi encourages, gives Zayn a look.

“I use to be.” He corrects, “We ended that after trying it out here for a bit. I’m a songwriter here, though.”  
“Yeah, anything we’ve heard?”

Gigi kicks Zayn shin. _Say something,_ her eyes said.

“More of collaborations for now,” He continues, “I’ve written with other artists, right now with Kodaline. You know them?”

Zayn loves Kodaline.

“I love Kodaline.” Gigi gasps excitedly, “what song?”

“We worked on a couple of songs together,” Harry recalls, “They’re a good lot.”

“I love them.” Gigi gushes, “Zayn and I actually saw them back home, right, Z?”

“Yeah.” Zayn nodded, turning to Harry, “That’s great Harry.”

“Thanks, Zayn.” Harry said quietly.

“Let me get your plates.” Zayn said as he picked up their plates, “I’m going to get a head start on these dishes.”

Zayn practically scurried away and filled the sink with water, letting the dishes soak for a bit.

“Need any help?” Zayn turned to find Harry resting against the counter, “Your friend said you needed some help.”

Gigi to the rescue again. He’s going to kill her.

“Uh,” Zayn looks around, “You could put these in the dry rack?” He hands him the damp plate.

“Yes, sir.” Harry smirked.

It was only a couple of moments of silence before Harry said, “So we’re going to be Freddie’s godparents.”

“Yep,” Zayn scrubbed at the glass so hard he might break it, “Go figure.”

“Louis said how supportive you were throughout the entire thing.”

“Yeah, he was a mess and did not have the slightest idea what to do when Freddie was born.”

“He looked up so many videos on how to change a diaper.” Harry grinned.

“Heyyyyy,” Zayn acted offended, flicking his wet fingers at Harry, “I sent those.”

“Knew it.” Harry laughed softly as he wiped at his face. Harry soaks his hand and sprays Zayn on the face.

“Missed you, you know.” Zayn said out of the blue. He could feel them both tense up after he said it, “Sorry I-“

“It’s okay…did miss you too.”

“Aw look at them, babe.” Louis cooed at Eleanor, “They’ve made up.”

Eleanor giggled, pushing Louis past the hallway, “That’s enough help from you two, thank you.”

“We’re just about finished,” Zayn offers, “Everyone gone? You going to bed already?”

“Yeah neighbors just left,” Louis groans as he looks at the mess, “we’ll start this up in the morning, I’m gonna check on my boy, night you two”

“Night.” Harry said, kissing Eleanor on the cheek before she made her way upstairs.

Zayn’s put up the last plate back in the cupboard while Harry puts a new trash bag in the bin, “Thanks for the help.”

“No problem,” Harry waves off, “You and I both know Louis wasn’t going to clean.”

“Yeah.” Zayn chuckled, “You got a long drive?”

Harry yawns, checking the time on his phone, “I should head home already.”

“Let me walk you out.”

“Okay.”

“Goodnight, it was good seeing you again.” Zayn says, resting against the door once Harry steps out.

Harry turns back to look at Zayn, “You wanna have lunch sometime this week?”

“Yeah I’d like that,” Zayn grips the doorknob, “Let me give you my number.”

“Okay,” Harry handed Zayn his phone, “I’ll text you.”

“Night.”

Zayn closed the door and let his head rest there for a moment. It felt like he was holding his breath once he saw Harry today. His back ached, who knew seeing your ex would be so exhausting?

 **It’s Harry.** Zayn reads as he settles for bed.

Zayn felt like he was fifteen, his grin unable to fade after Harry’s message.

**

A few days later, Harry and Zayn met at a Soho House Harry was a member of. Harry says it’s the only place he could get a decent traditional English breakfast that reminded him of home.

“You’ll like it.” Harry encouraged as they were seated.

“I’ll take anywhere that isn’t crowded and serves actual food.” Zayn said, thanking the waiter as he set their waters down.

“What are you going on about?”

“We just past a line of people waiting for a bread smeared in avocado.”

“It’s actually really good.” Harry confesses, “I’ve done the vegan thing.”

Zayn half-pretended to be appalled, “You? A vegan?”

“Only tried it.”

“I distinctively remember you adding bacon and cheese to anything you feasted on.”

“I shouldn’t have said anything.” Harry rolls his eyes as he looks through the menu, “I moderate my eating habits, we don’t all have never ending pits like you from what I can remember.”

“Still eat McDonald’s for breakfast.” Zayn says proudly.

“Haven’t had that in years.”

“Who are you?” Zayn gasps a little exaggeratingly.

“Harry Styles, just food conscious.” He laughs, throwing a rolled up napkin, “You done makin’ fun of me?”

“Truce, truce.” Zayn raised his hand up as a promise, “do you really like it here?”

“I love it here.” Harry says, adding honey to his hot tea, “Something’s always happening, always meeting new people.”

“And the music?”

“And the music.” Harry agrees, “Was going to quit after the band broke up but Louis introduced me to Jeff and I fell back into it.”  
“Jeff,” Zayn repeats, “He’s your…”

“Manager.” Harry says, watching Zayn in amusement, “Louis worked for his dad when he came here. So when I came for the summer Louis led me to them and now I’m signed.”

“A record deal?”

“Something like that,” Harry takes a bite of his poached egg before he continues, “I write songs for their artists.”  
“Why not write and record your own songs?”

“I did that when I left,” Harry shrugs, “Want to look for my sound before I dive into it all by myself.”

“That actually sounds practical.” Zayn nods, “Never thought you would be that way.”  
“How’s that?”

“You were always the risk-taker from all of us.” Zayn reminisced from the time they met in college, “I was the practical between the two of us. You took on more courses to graduate early, you and Louis left uni and were the only ones who had the guts to actually leave and follow your dreams.”

Harry hums and doesn’t say anything else after that. The feeling of unfamiliarity was gone as Harry showed Zayn around the Soho House. Zayn tried to keep calm when Harry reached

They decided on walking around the block, stopping at a frozen yogurt shop Harry said had the best green tea flavored yogurt. Zayn kept his comments, remembering he promised Harry he wouldn’t make fun of him anymore.

“And you?” Harry asks after paying for their desserts, “Did being practical work out for you?”

“I guess?” Zayn laughed awkwardly after taking a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth, “I finished school, tried the art teacher thing but it wasn’t what I wanted.”

“What are you doing now?”

“I freelance.” Zayn says, “I worked at an art studio back in London then came to New York, started in small showcases, met the right people that requested pieces from time to time.”

“And now?”

“I’m actually showcasing some pieces, thanks to Gigi and her friend who’s got an art gallery here.”

“That’s great, Zayn.”

“You should come.” Zayn mentions, “Lou and El are going.”

“I’d love to go.” Harry watched Zayn, knowing full well he was blushing, “I haven’t seen your art in so long.”

Zayn nods, takes the last bite of his ice cream and tosses it in the trash behind him.

“Is that how you met Gigi? In New York?” Harry asks as they took a seat outside the shop.

Zayn tried to keep calm when Harry’s legs pressed against Zayn’s.

“I met Gigi at school, actually,” Zayn swallowed, “She did a semester study abroad and took a photography class I was taking.”

Gigi looked so lost, Zayn remembered. He came up to her one day after class and asked her if she wanted to shoot with him. They were friends first. They were both lonely, Gigi foreign to the country and Zayn coming off of the breakup with Harry. Gigi enrolled for another semester and asked Zayn out on a date. They dated for three years. Once Zayn graduated from college Gigi managed to convince Zayn to come with her to New York.

“You and Gigi dated?” Harry looked taken aback.

“For about three years.” Zayn said, “We broke up earlier this year.”

“And now?”

“Just friends,” Zayn said, “We were more friends than a couple towards the end of our relationship.”

“And you moved with her to New York.” Harry repeated, “just up and left.”  
“Not exactly,” Zayn said, confused, “Gigi had a job, she and I met people here…”

“I had a job.” Harry said abruptly.

Zayn watched Harry’s demeanor change all of a sudden. He was upset. Closed off, even, “What’s wro-“

“We had the exact same plans, Zayn.” Harry’s blank expression morphed into dismay, “We had plans to move to America and you bailed because you weren’t ready, “it was a risk” you said the night before I left.”

Louis, who helped manage Harry’s band, succeeded in getting Harry and his band gigs. After another band reached out to Harry about opening up for them in the States Harry jumped at the chance and tried to convince Zayn to come with him.

_“You can transfer your credits here.” Harry offered after his third try on selling Zayn the plan to move with him, “America has the best art schools, the best galleries, you can make something of yourself there too.”_

“Harry,” Zayn carefully started, “That was different.”  
‘How?”

“I wasn’t done with school,” Zayn listed, “I was almost done, I would’ve had to start all over, it wasn’t a for sure thing. What if I didn’t get into any school? I was experienced when I moved here with Gigi…Gigi got me in a lot of-“

“Gigi guaranteed you a future.” Harry alluded.

“Harry, hear me out.”

“Gigi secured a safe plan,” He gestures to himself, “When I, the risk taker, couldn’t guarantee you anything.”

“Stop putting words in my mouth.” Zayn’s said firmly, “I was scared, I’ll admit it and I’m so sorry I bailed on our plans.”

“Yeah.” Harry folded his arms, closing himself off from Zayn.

“But with Gigi and finishing school I had some sort of idea what I wanted to do,” Zayn defended, “It was easier with Gigi-“

“Easier.” Harry tested the word.

“The move, Harry.” Zayn shook his head, “The move was easier, I never thought you were difficult.”

Harry hums again, fiddles with his empty cup. Zayn couldn’t believe how fast the day shifted. They were reconciling. Now Zayn was sure Harry never wanted to see him again.

“I should go.” Harry said tossing his unfinished frozen yogurt into the trash.

Zayn should have let him leave. The damage was done and Zayn didn’t want to upset Harry more than he had.

“Wait.” Zayn walks after Harry and fabricates a lie, “Louis dropped me off, I have no idea how to get back to his house.”

Harry stares at Zayn, his tense demeanor softening a bit.

“We don’t have to talk, I promise.” Zayn swore, “Please, Harry.”

Harry bit his bottom lip. For a second, Zayn thought Harry was going to walk away form him.

“Let’s go.” Harry said, making his way back to his car.

**

He let them sit in silence halfway through the car ride. Zayn faced the window the entire time waiting for the right time to say what he wanted to say.

“I know I said we weren’t going to talk.”

“Then don’t.” Harry said, his hand tightening over the wheel.

“Please, just…” Zayn pleaded, “Hear me out.”

Harry didn’t say anything.

“There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think about you.” Zayn started, turning to Harry and watched his face stay blank.

“You were all I thought about when I was in school. I regretted it everyday. I was hoping we were going to move past it and make it work through the distance. I called you every day, sent you text messages hoping you would respond to at least one of them. And when you didn’t I was heartbroken, Harry. I almost dropped out of school, I barely showed up. Gigi…” Harry’s jaw tightened, “who is one of my best friends now, nothing more, was the only person who made me deal with it. She can be just like you, Harry. She’s stubborn as fuck, never let me miss a day of class after that. She dragged me out of bed and into a studio. She made everything better. Gigi made it bearable to be without you.”

“Goodnight.” Harry said quietly.

Defeated, all Zayn could do was nod and glance at Harry once more before making his inside.

**

Once Zayn’s art pieces were delivered he went to the studio and talked to Anthony about planning out his showcase. He made a day out of it, stayed in the warehouse all day and tried keeping Harry out of his mind for as long as he could.

“You still like him.” Louis said after he re-aligned one of Zayn’s pieces, “I saw it at the party.”

“We’re only talking about the show,” Zayn pointed out, “You promised.”

“Okay, is he coming to the show?”

“Probably not,” Zayn shrugged even though he felt a twinge of disappointment in his chest.

It took Zayn a while but it came together quite nicely. Anthony gave him the warehouse to himself, gave him the key to lock up after the set up in case he stays in late. It was the day before the showing and Zayn couldn’t tell what he was feeling. His nerves were at an all-time high. He hadn’t heard from Harry in the last couple of days, figured Harry realized it wasn’t worth fixing.

“He’s been busy with work, too,” Louis says, “I met up with Jeff and he told me Harry was going through with the record deal with his management.”  
“Okay.” Zayn nodded.

“So he may be in a better mood.” Louis suggests, draping his arm over Zayn’s shoulder, “Remind him about tomorrow.”

“He’ll come if he wants to come.”

“That’s not how it works, Zayn.”

“What?”

“If you want him back, you have to make an effort,” Louis said, taking out a cigarette, offers it to Zayn, “That’s how you’ve been living your life, Z. Gigi practically fell on your lap. If it wasn’t for her, you would still be in Bradford.”

“I know that.”

“Harry was right. He offered you a way out and wanted you to pursue everything on your own by his side. He believed in you, knew that you could do it. And that scared you. Expectations scare you.”

“You want to do this right now?” Zayn asked disbelievingly, “I wasn’t ready, Lou, he pushed-“

“You think I was ready to be a dad?” Louis raised his eyes brows, “No one’s ready, Zayn. You got lucky to have Gigi hold your hand through it all. It’s not like that with everyone. Harry struggled for a really long time before he got to where he is now. You think it was easy for Eleanor when she found out about Freddie? It was fucking hard Zayn and we made it. We didn’t give up.”

“I didn’t give up,” Zayn said with an emphasis “Harry left.”

“You gave up, Zayn,” Louis cuts Zayn off, “You gave up before you could give it a chance.”

**

**My show is tonight**

**Your name is on the list if you still want to come.**

**Please come.**

Zayn checked his phone for a response. Harry still hadn’t read his texts so maybe he was preoccupied. Unless he was just avoiding Zayn altogether.

The warehouse would open in half an hour. Zayn made some last minute changes as he Anthony as he went down the itinerary for the night. Viewing would last for an hour, Anthony would handle any transactions happening that night. All Zayn had to do was talk to those who showed.

Louis, Eleanor, and Freddie were the first to show. Zayn already felt instantly better as he watched them come in, Eleanor fixing Louis tie who was fixing Freddie’s button up. Zayn’s heart warmed and a small laugher escaped his lips knowing full well Freddie wanted out of his shirt and dress pants.

“You can do this.” Louis encouraged, “I know I gave you an earful yesterday but”

“It’s okay,” Zayn cut off his apology, “I needed—I needed to hear it.”

“He’s coming, I know he is.”

Zayn smiled, wanting to believe Louis.

“We’ll see.” Zayn nodded, “Go and talk about me to others.”

 

It might have been from the third beer but Zayn was strangely comfortable during the viewing. Zayn had a moment of panic when Gigi said she’d be late, leaving Zayn to do it by himself. All he could remember was Louis telling him he could do it, he didn’t need Gigi as much as he thought. Anthony introduced him to first-time buyers who were eager to listen to Zayn talk about the pieces. By the time he spoke to the fifth buyer Zayn knew what to say without stammering too much. It surprised Zayn when he could answer the buyer’s questions about his art. Who knew Zayn, the one who made these art pieces, knew what the hell he was doing?

Gigi comes dashing in as Zayn spoke to a group of guests eyeing a piece of artwork Zayn had done back in New York. As he finished about the backstory of the piece Gigi stood beside him and nudged him.

“Harry’s here,” Gigi whispered, gesturing to the back of the room, “Go say hi.”

“I will, promise.” Zayn smiled, looked back at the group, “If you have any more questions about anything please don’t hesitate.”

“Look at you.” Gigi raised her eyebrows, surprised at Zayn’s professional tone.

“Shut it.”

“Go.” She waved Zayn off.

Zayn walked towards the back saw Harry walk by a piece, carefully studying it up-close. Harry was dressed up, a tailored business-like suit to Zayn’s surprise. Harry’s hand goes over his ring finger, twisting the ring around as he moved to the next piece.

“Hello,” Zayn cleared his throat as he stood by Harry, both looking at the same artwork, “were you interested in this piece? I know the artist, could get you a good deal over it.”

He turned to look at Harry, an amused look on his face as he kept his eyes focused on the painting, “I like what I see so far.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded, pushing his hands into his pocket, “What do you think the artist is trying to say here?”

“Uh,” Zayn narrowed his eyes at the painting, pretending to study every inch of it, “I think what he’s trying to say is he’s an idiot. He should have gone with his amazing boyfriend when he asked him to. Should have believed in himself as much as his boyfriend did. I think what he’s saying here,” His hand goes over a shadowed part of the painting, “He’s so sorry for bailing, if he could change the past and go and travel the world with him he would in a heartbeat.”

“You see all that here?” Harry asked, eyes focused on the painting, dodging Zayn’s eyes.

“Yeah I do.” Zayn says, his gaze still on Harry.

Zayn take a chance and turns to Harry completely, taking Harry’s hand in his. He opens his hand, almost sighs in relief when he feels Harry’s fingers linking with Zayn’s.

“Harry-“

“Zayn.” Anthony comes up to him, “Come with me.”

“Don’t leave, yeah?” Zayn squeezed Harry’s hand before he lets go, “Louis’ around here somewhere.”

Zayn follows Anthony to the foyer. Gigi was stood there, practically vibrating with a huge smile on her face.

“What’s going on?” Zayn watched Gigi, turned to Anthony, “Is everything going as planned?”

“You sold all the pieces.” Anthony announced, “You sold half of them just after you spoke to the buyers, they liked your stuff. They wanted your contact information for personal requests.

“You did it, Z.” Gigi practically jumps on Zayn, her arms wrapped around his neck so tightly, “You did this.”

“Not without you.” Zayn hugged Gigi back, kissing her cheek, “Thank you, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.”

“Yeah I know.” Gigi smirked, “You needed someone to believe in you, even when you didn’t want it. This is what happens when you don’t give up.”

Gigi’s smile falters as he looks over Zayn’s shoulder.

“Harry.” Zayn calls out when he sees Harry look at the both of them in disbelief.

“Go.” Gigi tells him as Zayn walks towards Harry who pushes past other guest to get to the exit door.

“That wasn’t what it looked like, H.” Zayn’s running now, pleading to Harry.

“What did it look like then, Zayn? Hmm?” Harry looked back at the warehouse, “Because to me…that looked like you were hugging and kissing your girlfriend after you gave me that spiel.”

“Gigi and I are just friends, nothing more.” Zayn said in a panic, “I want you, it’s you.”

“Have you had sex with her since you ended?”

Shit. Shit.

“Harry…” Zayn pushed his hair back.

“You have.” Harry covered his face as he laughed in disbelief, “How could I be so stupid?”

“It wasn’t serious, I swear,” Zayn tried to stop Harry from getting into his car, “Don’t do this.”

But it was too late. Harry shut the door, his engine roaring and he drives past Zayn.

“Zayn.” Gigi softly says behind him, “Go after him.”

“I don’t even know where he’s going.” Zayn said, defeated as he undid his tie.

“You can ask Lou-“

“Fuck, Gigi,” Zayn shouted, “I know you’re trying to help like you always do, but not now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No-shit—“ Zayn walked over to Gigi and wiped at his face, “ _I’m_ sorry. You’ve done nothing wrong. It’s me.”

She takes his hand and they walk back inside, both putting fake smiles for the rest of the night. Louis and Eleanor see right through it. Zayn avoids them, grabs on to Freddie and holds him for the rest of the night. His godson was too young to know what was going on, he figured he’d be the best person to walk around with for the rest of the night.

**

Zayn’s packed the last of his belongings once he confirmed his flight home for tomorrow morning. Louis and Eleanor were downstairs making breakfast for Freddie. They didn’t mention Harry after what happened the night of the art show. They had given Zayn enough grief, Zayn knew he was in the wrong.

He planned to lounge around with Freddie all day when he got a text from Anthony. Zayn’s signature was needed to begin distributing his sold pieces to the buyers. One upside of this cockup. Zayn didn’t have to pick unsold pieces. He took that as a win, now knowing how bad he would have felt if nothing was sold that night.

Louis drops Zayn off at the loft, offers to wait for him but Zayn tells him he was going to be here for a while.

“I’ll probably walk around for a bit, I’ll get a cab.”

“I knew you’d eventually like it here.”

Zayn felt bittersweet when he looked around and saw his art individually packaged. It was his but he wouldn’t see these pieces again after all these years.

“Just sign the next batch and you’re all set.” Anthony says, handing him the paperwork.

Zayn skims over the names and makes his way to the bottom to sign when he sees a familiar name.

“They bought something?” Zayn points at the paper work.

“Yep.”

There it was. Under the Purchased section was Harry’s name. He purchased the painting they stood over, where Zayn finally said what he needed to say. Before the night went to utter shit. He looks over and sees Harry’s contact information, address included.

“Could I take this one?” Zayn picks up his art piece, that belonged to Harry now, “I want to deliver this one personally.”

**

Harry’s place is exactly what Zayn imagined it would look like. A two-story garden home in between Malibu and Santa Monica. Zayn walks by the garden patio with the painting in his hands. He takes a moment before he knocks. He knows it’s his last chance to make things right. There’s nothing else to lose at this point, Zayn thinks.

He knocks on Harry’s door.

Zayn hears walking towards the door, the door unlocking.

“Zayn?” Harry says, his eyes narrowed as he fully opens the door, “How did you find my house?”

“Well,” Zayn gestured to the painting, “I wanted to deliver this to you personally, I hope that was okay.”

Zayn offers it to Harry and watches him reluctantly take it from his hands, “Thank you.”

“Wait.” Zayn said, pushing his hand against the door to keep it from closing, “Can we talk?”

“There’s nothing more to say, Zayn.”

“There’s plenty.” Zayn argues, “Hear me out,” He says for the hundredth time, “I’ll be out of your hair I promise.”

Harry doesn’t say anything. He moves over to let Zayn inside, the door closing after them. Zayn sat by the couch, moved so Harry could sit by him. Harry set the painting down on the coffee table and sat across from Zayn.

“Gigi and I did hook up once,” Zayn admits, his eyes looking down at the floor, “Only once, days before I saw you. We had just left the warehouse we were excited. Emotions were running high-“

“Okay.” Harry cut him off, “I don’t need to know anymore.”

“Sorry,” Zayn continued, “It was before we saw each other again. We haven’t done anything since. Gigi’s a good person so please don’t hate her for this.”

“I don’t hate her, I hate you.”

“I know.”

“You got my hopes up, again, Zayn.” Harry said softly, “When I saw you at the party I felt like we were back home again. And it brought back so many memories. Brought me back to our last night together when you backed out on our plans. My heart broke all over again.” Harry’s voice broke.

“I’m sorry.”

“When we went to lunch I wanted to tell you how hurt I was, I wanted to scream at you,” Harry said, his voice shaky, “But I couldn’t. All I wanted was to touch you.”

Zayn’s chest began to ache from Harry’s admission. Zayn took a chance and kneeled in front of Harry, his hands coming up to hold his jaw.

“I’m here.” Zayn’s thumb wiped at the tear that fell over Harry’s cheek, “That’s all I wanted too. All these years.”

“But Gigi-“

“Please,” Zayn pleaded, “I was with Gigi, yes, but it was never like it was with us and she knew that. That’s why we broke up. She knew I was still in love with you.”

That got Harry to finally look at Zayn in the eyes.

“I still love you.” Zayn repeated, “I love you, Harry.”

“I can’t do this, Zayn.” Harry tried pulling away, “I don’t want to feel like you’ll leave whenever things get hard.”

“I won’t.” Zayn promised, kissing Harry’s cheek and moving to the other.

“How will I know that?” Harry grabbed at Zayn’s hand, not pushing away but he held on tightly.

“You were always the risk-taker.” Zayn reminded Harry, “I need you to take a chance on me. One more time.”

Zayn kisses Harry before he could even answer. He kisses him slowly, letting him take the reigns in case he needs to push away. Harry cups the back of Zayn’s head, his warm tongue moving against Zayn’s as they press against each other. It felt like their first kiss. It was new. It was scary. But it felt so good. A jolt runs through the both of them, Zayn can feel it from his head down to his toes.

Zayn stands them up without breaking their kiss, his arms closing around Harry’s middle to bring him closer, feeling like there was too much space between them.

“I need to feel you.” Zayn says out of breath, clawing at Harry’s shirt, his fingers moving underneath his shirt.

“Me too,” Harry says, tilting his head back as Zayn trails kisses across his neck, “Fuck, Zayn.”

He walks them to a room that can resemble Harry’s bedroom. Clothes were being thrown around the entire way there. Zayn’s hands pooling around Zayn’s backside as he pushes against him. Harry gasps and let’s Zayn do it again, feeling his erection against his. Harry pushes them inside his room, walking Zayn inside until they fall over the bed, immediately climbing over it.

Zayn flips them over and plants his hands and knees over Harry as he ruts down again, Harry raises his hips to meet Zayn’s, the friction only growing more intense. Zayn mouths at Harry’s chest, to taste, to remember Harry’s body all over again. Harry grabs at Zayn and switches their position. He kisses his way down to Zayn’s belly button, pulling his jeans down to his knees. Zayn watches Harry watch him guide himself against Harry’s lips. Zayn grabs at the sheets as Harry takes the head of Zayn’s cock into his mouth, teasing slowly.

“Fuck,” Zayn moans biting the back of his hand, “Missed your mouth.”

Harry’s hand wraps around the rest of Zayn as he flicks his tongue over the head. Zayn grabs at Harry’s hair, controlling how much Harry takes in, pulling him up when Zayn thinks he’s going to come.

“Want…want you.” Harry’s lips were so red, his voice so soft. Had Zayn let himself he would have come all over Harry’s face right then and there.

Zayn pulls back to look at Harry, wants to be sure it’s what he wants. Harry nods in encouragement, biting his lip as he watches Zayn undo the front of his jeans, peeling them off of him along with his briefs and tossing them behind them.

Zayn has Harry fully naked underneath him. They’re both breathing so heavily, it’s all Zayn can hear. He looks over Harry, his hard on lays flat over his stomach, his hands coming up to his face. Harry whines against Zayn’s mouth as Zayn’s fingers tease him. Zayn feels Harry take a breath when he pushes a finger inside him. Once Zayn can feel Harry opening up for him, he adds another, moving them in circles to stretch him out. Harry’s grinding on his fingers now, pre-come covering the head of his cock.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Harry gasped loudly as he felt Zayn’s warm mouth over his cock, “Please…”

Zayn goes slow, too slow for Harry’s good. But he knows if he speeds up, knows if he sucks on him too hard Harry would come.

But Zayn wanted it another way. He wanted to watch Harry come from fucking into him.

“Ready?” Zayn asks, coming over Harry again, pushing his legs apart.

Harry’s eyes were closed when he nodded, taking in deep breaths. He licked over his lips, his hands gripping Zayn’s forearms as Zayn began to push inside him. Harry was so tight, it took Zayn all the energy he had not to come as he pushed himself deeper and deeper. Zayn held Harry’s neck, kissing him slowly when Harry winced against his mouth.

“I need you to move,” Harry groans, his nails digging into Zayn’s arms, “please, move.”

Zayn fixed his knees slowly, burying his face against Harry’s neck as he pulled and rocked back in hard.

“Again, fuck,” Harry moaned, his hips slowly moving with Zayn as he rocks back in.

Zayn does it again. And again. He bites at Harry’s neck as he picks up a rhythm, feels Harry rock against him in perfect thrusts. He shifts his knees before he starts fucking into Harry faster. Zayn looks down, watches himself fuck into Harry, he can feel himself getting there. _Too_ _soon_ , Zayn thinks. He wants Harry to come first before he does.

“I’m gonna come.” Harry announces letting go of Zayn’s arm to pull on his cock, “come on.”

“Fuck,” Zayn kisses Harry again, “I love you. I never stopped loving you. I fucking love you, Harry.”

Harry’s arches his back, his body freezes in between Zayn’s thrusts. Zayn comes with Harry, his thrusts speeding up as he watches Harry’s come land on his stomach and chest. His grip on Zayn tightens as he moans incoherently. Zayn slows his hand, pumping slowly as he feels Harry’s body go limp, chest rising rapidly as he gasps for air.

“Breathe, baby,” Zayn said softly, kissing Harry’s head as his breathing begins to slow, “I’m here, I have you.”

Harry nods, letting Zayn adjust them so he could rest against Zayn’s chest. Zayn turns to look outside the window to see the sun still bright. The day was not over but all Zayn and Harry could do is close their eyes and let sleep wash over them.

**

Zayn’s smacking Harry’s hand from his face. That’s how he wakes up. He felt a tickle on his face, thinking it was a bug but it was Harry, tracing shapes over his cheeks, brushing his fingertips over his lashes.

“Hey,” Harry gasped, pretending to be offended, “You’re awake.”

“It’s the middle of the night,” Zayn turns to the clock. 1:03 AM

“We slept through the day.” Harry giggled, his dimple in full.

“I missed you.” Zayn looked up at Harry, his heart felt so full he could cry.

“Missed you too.” Harry leaned down to peck Zayn on the lips, laughing against Zayn’s mouth when Zayn pulled him back down to kiss him some more.

After minutes of lazy kissing Zayn abruptly gets up and fishes for his phone. Once he locates it he lays back down with Harry.

“What are you doing?” Harry yawned, resting against Zayn’s chest as he watched him unlock his phone.

“I had a flight scheduled for today,” Zayn felt Harry tense up, “I’m just cancelling it.”

“Really?” Harry beamed, Zayn had to kiss him again.

“Yeah,” He smiled against Harry’s mouth, “Guess you’re stuck with me for a while.”

Zayn hadn’t felt this content in so long. He waited for this moment for so long. It scared him to think that he was going to wake up at any moment and realize it was all a dream. That he was back in New York, still miserable.

“Well,” Harry sighed in fake annoyance, “It’s a good thing I love you so much.”

Hearing him say those words again to Zayn, it made his heart officially explode. Harry yelped as Zayn climbed over him again, peppering his face with kisses.

If this was taking a risk felt like, Zayn should have done it a long time ago.

**

“Yay!” Freddie cheered as Harry pushed the grocery cart faster, “Faster, faster.”

“Okay, you two.” Zayn warned in the other aisle, “You’re going to get us kicked out if you both keep behaving this way.”

“You’re no fun.” Harry pouted, watching Freddie make the same face.

Louis and Eleanor went out of town for the weekend, leaving Freddie behind with their godfathers. It looked easy, Zayn and Harry thought. They’ve babysat Freddie before. Friday was easy. Saturday was bearable. Sunday, however, was hell. They lost so much sleep from the days before Zayn couldn’t concentrate. Harry suggested making dinner after Freddie eased up on his tantrums, bribing him with ice cream if he behaved.

“Okay boys,” Zayn rolled his eyes, “What are we going to make for dinner? Pasta or chicken?”

“Ice cream!” Freddie chanted.

“Chicken it is.” Harry said, ruffling Freddie’s hair.

As they made their way to the check out line a woman walks past them and waves at Freddie. He waves back at her and she practically melts.

“Your son is so cute,” The woman says, “How old is he?”

“Three.” Harry says before Zayn could correct her.

She waves to Freddie goodbye. And when Freddie waves back Zayn thought she was going to pass out from Freddie’s cuteness.

They pay for their groceries and make their way to the car.

“Go.” Zayn rolls his eyes, laughing as Harry pushes the cart, Freddie laughing hysterically.

They put the groceries away and make their journey back home.

Five minutes in and they’re stuck in traffic. Again.

“We’re buying a helicopter to commute.” Zayn suggests, knocking his head against his seat. He looks in the rear view mirror and sees Freddie is out cold, an empty juice box in his hand.

“Agreed.” Harry groaned, tilting his head to get a better look at what was building up traffic.

“Hey,” Zayn said softly, “can I ask you something?”

“Anything,” Harry squeezed Zayn’s hand that rested on his lap.

“The woman back in the market.” Harry nodded as Zayn continued, “You didn’t correct her.”

“He’s technically ours.” Harry blushed, shrugging as he turned to Zayn.

“Would you…” Zayn swallowed, his hand squeezing Harry’s, “Would you officially want one?”

“What?” Harry furrowed his brow.

“A baby.” Zayn gestured to Freddie, “He needs a brother.”

Zayn had the car in park like the rest of the commuters around him. When he turned to look at Harry he couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Before he could take back what he said, Harry unbuckled himself out of his seat and collided his mouth against Zayn’s.

“Yes!” Harry tried to keep his voice at a minimum, to keep Freddie from waking up, “I want to have a baby with you.”

“Good,” Zayn said, tugging at Harry’s chin, pecking him on the lips again, “Let’s start now!”

And that’s how Zayn took on his next risk with Harry.

In a city he once hated, in traffic he still loathes, with their godson sleeping soundly in the back.

 

 


End file.
